:j

2004-11-24T23:56:00.000+08:00

24/11/o4(underlined)

..i can't do all those fancy HTML stuff, so i'll just have to make do, and you'll have to exercise your imagination more! this place is stagnant! i wouldn't be surprised to see mosquito larvae worm-swimming around! there are 2 ants on my arm. they're unlucky, cos my arm's sticky, so they won't be able to attempt an escape when i get ready to swat 'em!

hmm. yup, just now we were downstairs playing stuff, and the balls were flying around like what, there was no gravity?! i was digging for GOLD(gold and italic) in the bushes, and there was this stupid haunted court roller thing in the next court! miracle sweeper, don't ever that buy that brand! for details refer to jiaen's blog. jiaen, if you're reading this, blog! otherwise the masses'll say i'm bluffing! we have to go along with the ezlink plan! TEE HEE HEE! and the other plan! let's give it a codename! how does OPERATION fry yourfrenchfrytoday sound!

today..WAS FUN(real big and fat and colorful)! there's the triathlon + 1event event! let's all vote for PIGSKIN(picture of pigskin shoe) attire! hahahaha! it's cooling, SKINny, and IN! can you imagine all of us in leathery material, running all over s'pore! you guys better train up! if you don't have a pool, swim in the rain puddle nearest to you! B) heehee!

float + swim forward = more work! (you guys!)
as i am fatter than all of you,
fats = floatable stuff
float(as i am naturally equipped with the ability, thus, cancelling it out) + swim forward = less work! (haha! me!)

i'll probably end up winning the eating event! hahahahaha! no cheating with vegetables(ALL), fruit(ALMOST ALL), and fishskins (slimy kind) etcetera. oh yes! i have questions! is this an individual/team event? and who's taking the photoshots? it someone gonna run-take-run-take? that's cool! i'll take pictures of the person who's doing the run-take-run-take! or should we get those longneck cameras, like on fear factor! we can attach 'em to our heads with belts! then we'll all have individual videos!

my pick's lovable! and i love it! i'll get that dragonish one next week, so i won't feel so weird when you guys buy that crazily small, red(red), has patterns on both sides, dragon tshirt! ..i didn't turn the amplifer on cos.. i was in such deep concentration that i could visualize the sounds! don't you all savvy my skills! at least i remembered to turn the volume up full blast!

we dashed across so you'd include that 8sec thing in your blog; EIGHT is a nice number!

what i've been doing the past few days:
1. playing monopoly (lost all the rounds).
2. playing bridge! (lost almost all the rounds, had bad cards you see.)
3. winning/earning/receiving money!
4. playing pepsi-cola! (where you step on each other's legs to win! but in our version, you can step on heads too, haha! my toe's all smashed up.)
5. helping people with asthma attacks.

2004-10-08T13:39:00.000+08:00

think about how many lines a standard student-written zuowen is. easily one and a half pages. Is your hair longer than your zuowen?

2004-10-04T17:13:00.000+08:00

just heard some weird, awfully weird logic. - the fatter you are, the whiter you get. your meat expands under your skin, causing the pigments to become less concentrated, making you end up with a fairer skin tone. get me a dermatologist.

hahahahahahha! my brother was just asked to "stop rolling your balls". it's s'posed to be eyeballs, but my maid's kinda too lazy to pronounce the former word.

2004-09-30T16:30:00.000+08:00

DEMOCRAT-You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

SOCIALIST-You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form acooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

REPUBLICAN-You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

COMMUNIST-You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE-You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE-You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE-You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION-You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION-You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.JAPANESE CORPORATION-You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION-You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION-You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION-You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION-You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

POLISH CORPORATION-You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION-You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking cow.

NEW YORK CORPORATION- You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.

hahahaahaha! cows, cows, cow, and more cows! B)

2004-08-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

friday 2o/o8/o4
This is a report.

Venue: KAP (mad house of mad houses)
State: sitting on the Ronald Highchair (red baby chair that's a tad bit too small for my not-so-small frame) / sitting on the "understanding our past" textbook and a fat file (trying to LOOK TALLER THAN JIAEN, and SUCCEEDS).
Surroundings: seated at a small 5seater joint table. picture of 5 colorful (mutated-looking) tropical fishes. they look.. cock-eyed. my chair can't swivel. it's the only one which can't swivel!!! Introduction: today, we decided to visit KAP. maybe not.. actually we wanted to eat stuff.
chicken + chicken + chicken = TOO MUCH CHICKEN. thus, as a Singaporean citizen who fancies variety! i ate FISH. on the way back, someone said, "i've a feeling something bad's gonna happend." just as the dreadful premonition left her mouth.. my coke spilled.
-end of scene1
The Start of a Rebellion
Fries were flying through the air like maniacal birds in a frenzy. they hit all sorts of places.. except sensitive places! UNFUN! everyone cringed, glued their eyelids, and prayed to their Gods as they waited for the bombardment of fries to hit their targets. (suffering from severe backache presently. maybe early rheumatism <- huizhen's superb spelling)! ga! i started the "flicking cabbage" operation. fry war was cool! fries which we chose to represent our separate countries (HUIZHEN guo, JIAEN land, and TRICIA), would proceed to a fighting ring. may the hard-iest emerge champion! as my country had a limited amount of hard fries, i was..CRUELLY DEFEATED by huizhen guo and jiaen land! the reason being the McDonald people wanted me to have nice soft fries! no la.. i gave 'em chance (knows i'm being thick-skinned)! (moves into a comfortable cross-legged position, and rubs left cheek which was violently banged into the table upon hearing that i look like a worm. i seriously doubt they've ever seen real worms before) enough with the worm talk! let's get back to business! fries were displayed in various poses (motive: to entertain and amuse ourselves), and taken pictures of. huizhen generously threw a slice of cabbage into my coke. miraculously, fry after fry jumped after the "high fibre content" vegetable. illegal gathering of junk food! then! we arranged several smiley faces in the coke. even with the below-zero, artic conditionsm eye-ball freezing characteristics of the sweetened liquid, i had to rearrange the position of the eyes to satisfy us. the worst part has yet to come! we ahem. disfigured the woman on the McDonald tray paper. by adding hair to her arm****, and *****cles. we kinda gave her ****st enhancement too! (hides in PE t-shirt which has not been washed / brought home since wednesday!) huizhen's feet was touched by.. GUESS WHO!!! fries. as it was quite obvious jiaen was trying to fling food into my er.. region. i was trying to aim hers too! however! we did not even come close to bulls-eye. huizhen and jiaen felt the strong calling of cleanliness, we marched to the female's lavatory, where huizhen gave birth. crouched under the soap dispenser, saying "push! i see it! it's coming out!!!" in an urgent whisper, who wouldn't think she was related to pregnancy!
State (after "us" happened) : wall - specks of cabbage are rock-climbing along it! floor - showered with sprinkles of ever-so-soggy fries, lettuce etcetera. the seats and tables are lickable! i swept all the remnants off with the honourable history textbook!
Process: much of what is stated above.
Aims and Objectives: we only wanted to have a nice peaceful meal..
Reflections: ..we're respectable citizens, no?
Conclusion: blah. this is only half of it. wait for the conclusion next time.
End: END.

2004-08-17T21:29:00.000+08:00

has a strong craving for OOLONG TEA.

2004-08-17T21:21:00.000+08:00

ga! on the quest for inspiration, i stumbled upon.. jiaen's blog! hahahaha! we went to the police station. it was kinda weird, because the police were real friendly, and they were blaring the radio while listening to us make our report! one guy was even singing along to "can't take my eyes off you". haha! i told the ahsir the wrong address of our school! B) by accident. they have nice cold aircon too. we suspect that one police guy likes this other police girl! ^-^ he kept eyeballing her and smiling!

2004-08-17T21:05:00.000+08:00

and why in the world is the right side so spacey?! it looks like you can conduct a whole broadway musical there, with audience and all! ah..! just read that weird story below!

A young woman was sunbathing on the beach and was just about to drop off to sleep, when she felt an insect running along her jawbone and then down her neck. She brushed it away, and thought nothing more of it.
After about a week, she noticed what she thought was a pimple growing and growing. The skin was inflamed and it looked like a blister. Then, one day, she was blow-drying her hair and hit the inflamed spot with her hair dryer. The blistered skin broke open and hundreds of tiny white baby spiders and pus came pouring out of the wound!
It seems that while she was sunbathing, her pores had enlarged enough that a mama spider could deposit her egg sac in one. They incubated under her skin until she smacked herself in the jaw with the hair dryer!

(don't worry, this isn't based on a true story, i think. i found it while playing around some weird website!)

2004-08-17T20:53:00.000+08:00

darn. do you feel the agony of wanting to update but having no idea what to talk about. SNORT. what is this?! my mom just gave me a book called "diary of a mad mother-to-be". tweegelasongsong.

ENQVIST. old but nice!

2004-08-14T00:52:00.000+08:00

Huizhen! this is for you! you sent it to me on may the 22nd, 2003! i haven't replied yet, so i'm replying now! i think jiaen send me a copy too! it's for the both of you!

HAVE YOU EVER------------------
* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: no.
* Missed school B/coz it was raining: no. i missed school when it was sunny!
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: er.. no! but a fern, yes!
* Got hurt emotionally: yes.
* Kept a secret from anyone: ya! now! Had an imaginary friend: a few! ^-^ nice people, they were!
* Cried during a Movie: yes. pearl harbour! when the main leads died! (bad taste, bad taste!)
* Had a crush on a teacher: um.. mr poon? (to humour jiaen!)
* Ever thought an animated character was hot? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUI! <- huizhen! look at this! he's better than tsukasa!
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape: no! i only have national geographic tapes!
* Been on stage: yes
* Cut your hair: ..i'm not rapunzel.
>------------------FavORITES------------------ > >

* Colors: dark grey, yellow!
* Day/Night: you can sleep at night or in the day! so i like both!
* Summer/Winter: both too!
* Lace or satin: satin? lace reminds me of.. bra. undergarments.
* Fave cartoon Characters: i quite like dextor! pinky and the brain, scooby doo..!
* Fave food : food is nice! except vegetables.
* Fave Advert: 2 + 2 = healthy!
* Fave Ice Cream: chocolate! no runner-up!
* Fave Subject: mm.. mass dance! no la. english?
* Fave Drinks: OOLONG TEA. but since they put drinks (plural), chinese tea too!
* Fave Persons to talk to online: people in the 5ive list (you all)!!! "a people" list people, and some other uncategorized people who are floating around! and of course.. family! tada!
* Fave place u like to go: i wanna go cycling at some park in the early morning!
>----------------RIGHT NOW------------------ > >
* Wearing: big t-shirt, i drew the pattern on myself when i was small!
* Hair is: hair. (best statement of the year!)
* I'm feeling: pain in the ear. feel like throwing all the toilet paper at some trees!
* Eating : air (mouth opening and closing like a goldfish?)
* Drinking: nothing.
* Thinkin bout: going to the toilet. someway or another. ,maybe i need to go! blowing mucus bubbles..
* Listening to: some weird old song! that says we can all behave like animals..!
---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------ > >
* Cried: no.
* Met someone New: no.
* Cleaned your room: nah, i don't that. leave it to your parents!
* Done laundry: no.
* Drove a car: no.
--------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------ > >
* Yourself: sometimes. 50-50!
* Your friends: YES.
* Santa Claus: maybe a few years back?
* Tooth Fairy: no, but roof fairy maybe! haven't you heard that when your teeth drops you should throw it onto the roof?
* Destiny/Fate: hmm.. yeah, they're important i s'pose?
* Ghosts: UFOs!
* UFO's: i saw that ghosts thing before this!
----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------ > >

* Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no.
* Like anyone?: no.
* Who's the loudest: a loudhailer!
* Who's the shyest: no idea..
* Who's the weirdest: there are some VERY weird people out there!
* Who do you go to for advice: friend.
* Who do you cry to: bolster? food (am thinking of trying it out when there's a chance!) ?
* When you cried the most: when i was unpro at putting on the lens. not that i'm pro now!
* What's the best feeling in the world: fun! happiness!
* when was your worst feeling: no comment. B)

* Who will respond to this email the fastest?: either huizhen or jiaen! because they're nice people! um.. and other nice people!
* Who did you send this to who wont reply: i'm not sending it, so this is invalid.

2004-08-14T00:06:00.000+08:00

Malay (this might come to use in malaysia)

ayam - chicken
tandas - toilet (in case you need to relieve yourself! veronica taught me this!)

Cantonese (i hope this is right!)

gno wun sum - change clothes
faidi - hurry up

2004-08-13T23:35:00.000+08:00

now.. why would a perfectly sane person be crawling around the ceiling like a house lizard! maybe it's because they wanted to attempt to conquer trigo, and it so happens that her calculator was solar-powered! so she had to climb on a ladder to reach the lightbulb which was so high above her head! wait, give me a chance to state something - she WASN'T short.

B) .. (i like glasses wearers!)

2004-08-13T23:23:00.000+08:00

i know how to make the whole thing even more glaring for your eyes! i can change the links to bright yellow! hahah! but i won't! those myopia advertisements on tv had a purpose you know! i don't want all of you to get myopia! it sounds bad!

I KNOW WHY I ATE PORRIDGE TODAY (even though it was plain, and had practically no other stuff in it except water and rice).
guess why! i dreamt of something last night! at first, there were alot of indian people running around and hiding behind those trees! then! the whole scene totally switched! the five of us heard that there was good porridge in JB! so.. we all went to JB! to try the porridge (it was called congee in the dream) i think! and.. after a few hours of driving (i dunno who was behind the wheel!!!), we passed through the multiple traffic jams! and we reached the restaurant! in the end, we didn't even eat porridge! we ate other stuff! cha-cway-tiao (however you spell it) or something! it was awful! hahahahahahah!

2004-08-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

SERIOUS. very serious tone. my apologies for causing headaches, tired eye syndrome and related medical conditions! but before saying "my bad", it was my dad who chose these colors! er.. however, the color combination is really quite.. POOGLY! yeah! i love the cows too! especially that one that looks slightly cockeyed! hahaha! did you know (and we should all feel proud about it)! our school is full of weird ants! ok, i'm not sure if it's full, but there's one! now.. i'm gonna talk about him (i assume he's a male)!
one day, we sat down during assembly, because there was a teacher who was making some long speech. then! all of us saw an ant! at first, he walked in a straight line in front of us. he cont'd walking all the way to the far right, so we decided not to watch anymore. suddenly (this is the exciting part)! he came walking again! he did that like 7times non-stop! it's amazing his tiny ant feet didn't get tired! after that, we decided to help him change direction! and.. he walked under some girl's skirt, and she started scratching around! hahahahahahaha! it's a useless piece of information, but..! it's still information! teeheehee! i'm gonna post alot of stuff at one time!

2004-08-08T18:56:00.000+08:00

sunday o8/o8/o4 teeheehee (it's horrid.. i know)! hmm.. thinking. it's kinda like sewing actually! you see. threads of thoughts and ideas are running around your brain non-stop, it's all rather MUZZY at first.. eventually, it all comes together to form a big picture, and stops being so cloudy. sewing thinking, sewing thinking. isn't there a resemblance! let's jump on the thinking train! mm.. let's all be farmers when we're big! i'll be the earthworm farmer! someone else can be in charge of farming pigs and other stuff! we'll be rich! crops'll be oozing out of our ears!!! aha aha! and nowadays all the farmers are loaded! rolls-royce. haha! some of 'em even have the rolls-royce engine in their tractors! it's a good business!

2004-08-08T18:19:00.000+08:00

friday.o6/o8/o4
i lost my polo shirt on the bus. jiaen went home first, so we went to orchard! and we bought these toys! at first we wanted to buy the unbreakable tofu toys! but due to financial constraints, we bought the cute terrorists instead (refer to huizhen's blog)! it was random! um.. the first one i bought was this blue-brown army print one, with a brown gas mask! ahaha! it has thick yellow eyebrows, and it's nose it quite big! huizhen got a white color one whose face was quite bundled up! hers is nice!!! we bought another set! we were trying to fix 'em with their guns and stuff, so we were all squatting on the floor. then.. we went to cine! the bowling alley ceased in operation or something! BAD. we bought a bunch of icy qoos! i like it eh! haha! and we had the McDonalds talk..! which was mad! hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! it was mad!!! but fun! i like the part about the ring! we saw some people along taka! hahaha! and along everywhere else, for that matter! but those people were.. different! after the stuff, we were waiting at the bus stop! i really think there are snakes in that field!!! they can film anaconda III (singapore) there! haha! we went to KAP, and ran out a few seconds later! ga! hmm.. the night sky was nice yesterday! there were more stars than usual! all the tiny specks of shimmery light looked like diamonds on some darkblue velvet! no! more like eyes.. it kinda reminded me of peeping toms! hahahaha! sorry!

2004-08-08T18:03:00.000+08:00

i'minacar-i'minacar!!!

2004-08-07T01:01:00.000+08:00

i forgot to mention something about the village! there was this drug addict guy who used a gun to shoot through someone's brother's eyeball! left eyeball. haha!

2004-08-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

i just thought of something! for all you know, the weird spaces at my comments are coding! i mean like.. look at it! coding, don't you think? it might lead us to some nice secret treasure! which reminds me about our world tour! what did we say? i know i wanted to go to arab! and see all the flying carpets, and magic lamps, and people with hoods! you said you wanted to go to the sahara desert! we might just as well go to the kalahari desert and visit the kung bushmen! and we're gonna sail around the oceans, and fight the pirates! we might win! then we'll have extra ships! more ships the better, it's always good to have extras! i didn't forget our free parrot! hahaha! i remember you saying that if we lose the battle, we'd just run off and give something as a sacrifice! fun! i'd wanna go back to maldives and visit the giant clam! he might've grown bigger! ..?! this is mad! i keep hearing weird, cynical, laughter coming from the shelf with loads of shoes! ^-^

2004-08-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

ok! pretend this post was posted yesterday, 5th august, at about 12! hmm.. we went out, and ate McDonalds, and ate McDonalds, and ate McDonalds. that's all i can remember. oh ya! we watched the village. it was funny! jiaen had the middle seat, and i had the seat to the right of the middle seat! hahahaha! i like my seat! there were nice-smelling vapours coming from the right! i was er..soaking 'em in! not really.. and cubicle number 8 of the B2 female lavatory (near nike women) has a super creaky door! it's extra loud! sounds abit like a pontianak! ahahaha! at 9 we went back to jiaen's house. my dad picked me, and we only reached at 11+++, because he kept trying to liulian around the petrol station!? he was probably scouting around the pads!:j i was sitting on a stool at the delifrance counter staring at all the left over bread. it was like they could talk! nah, but they had no faces, so even if we did start a conversation, how'd i know i wasn't talking to its buttocks or something. ga! anyway! i'll post about today tomorrow! ya!

-i hope singapore'll have a better port and airport. (if you did not already realize, this is a national day message.)

2004-08-04T20:16:00.000+08:00

do you think everyone uses more or less the same variety of fonts? hahaha! here's the quiz! it's awful (don't say i neglected to warn you)!

ok! you live in a neighbourhood, where the houses are built real close together! there's like a 1cm space between your wall, and you neighbour's. if you open the window, you're practically invading their house space! oh yes! and no one has curtains, and all the windows are made of glass, but they can be opened! can imagine? now.. there's this young couple who stay beside you. one day, you hear 'em doing ahem! stuff! ahahah! what would you do:

a. run to the window and peer over the window sill.
b. stick your entire head into their house.
c. you have amazing jumping ability, and somehow managed to enter their room through the window, via leaping.
d. you just knock the whole wall down!

results -> if you took any, means you're a pervert! it's in order! option a = pervertic; b = more pervertic, and so on..!

hahahaha! this quiz was provided by chester who thought of everything, except the last option, which i added for those souls who thought the first 3 options were inappropriate! ^-^

2004-08-03T23:08:00.000+08:00

"oh them. they show their bloody faces on tv everyday." -quoted from chester, about a certain band which was mentioned in a post that kinda disappeared. my eraser saved the day! even though huizhen says it looks like a black society eraser! we were all using it, and it provided good services! oh ya! last sunday plastic bag rustling sounds kept coming from the right! i think huizhen was trying to eat her mars bar! hahaha! anyway! guess what someone said that day! "eat? eat what? rice, cash, or tofu?" at that moment it was quite funny! hmm..if you think about something.. you'll become more and more like it? if i was thinking about my shoe the whole of last week.. means i'm becoming a shoe!!! ahaha! sorry. i swiped a lump of bird shit of my dad's car with my sock! school sock! ^-^ the worst comes to the worst, it somehow ends up not getting washed, and when i wear that sock next week, i'll be able to feel clumpy red stuff around my toes! hey! i know how to blow a bubble with mucus! chester taught me how to! haha!

and i wanna thank jiaen! for helping me out like siao with the blog! thank you! because you rendered such good service, i shall make another quiz! 1 + 1 = 2; so there'll be 2 quizzes! play 'em sometime when i've er.. put 'em up!

2004-08-03T19:01:00.000+08:00

me: do you notice a change around here, or do you not!
woman: 'course! it looks better than before! did you bring it for a makeover! where! is it at the new adonis! it's..pink!
me: cluckcluck (human version) slimming sanctuary's better! and can you please identify yourself!
a woman: oh hi! i'm a woman! i think adonis is better! their models look prettier!^^
me: it's not about the models! you only look at the faces!!! you should TOUCH abit on their inner charisma you know!
woman: ok! i'll go and touch!
Both people go off to go and touch people's inner beauty!

blank

2004-08-02T16:14:00.000+08:00

hello! the font looks different around here! hahaha! anyway! thank you for helping me put up the links! er.. but can i change the arrangement? and am i s'posed to be linking duane?! i'm waiting for your letter (on the new topic)! don't you think it's ciji to keep your hair super long, and cut it all at once!!! so ciji!!!!
me:should i record my ninja dream here!
whom it may concern: yes!!! it's a good dream!

aha-aha! ok, for the starting.. the background's dark.. and it's in a bamboo forest! you know the kind on tv where you see a bunch of ninjas flying around? ya! something like that! after that, 2 people are running through all the skinny trees. it's us!!! and we're holding this magic wood, which all the bad eggs in the world want, because it's magic! and there are a whole troop of ninjas flitting around, as they wanna get the magic wood! then.. they catch up with us (not because we run slow)! and we're smart! we took a ming vase (red and yellow) and put it in front of us! when the ninja slashed his sword, he smashed it into the vase, and he was shocked there for 10 mins! he froze, like an ice(man/cube)! so.. we ran off! we somehow or another bumped into a panda! bamboo forest = there are surely some pandas floating around. and.. i woke up! ahahaha! it's weird i know! the end.

2 days late entry

2004-08-02T16:08:00.000+08:00

hmm.. let's see! on saturday.. i met jiaen! i like what she said about the frisbee! the whole thing's kinda like. oh ya! i said i'd like to like someone who'd go to the park every night to read a book! when he reaches the park, he'll take off his slippers and read cross-legged on the bench. she was like, what! who'd be so stupid as to go to a park everyday, then go home, because he realizes it's to dark to read?! something like that! then i said he can play the frisbee! haha! um.. she said something like, how to one person play frisbee? boomerang i still can believe! ga!

someone's pro!!!

to the honourable huizhen and jiaen!

2004-07-30T22:58:00.000+08:00

what is this!? i can't even add a comment to my own post!!! HA! you can't beat me you ignoramus of a computer! i'm your owner.. repeat after me! owner! i'll reply here then! to huizhen: ya! i'm see bae onn! you're toto tan! and there was kayu lee too! why do all the m1 names sound bad! it must be because you're working undercover for 'em in the name choosing sector! hahaha! j/k! to jiaen: i'm not interested in anyone's peaches!!! up or down! i know you wanna eat bananas you! no! you want banana splits! can you imagine you holding a big butcher's knife and splitting the poor thing into half! it's painful for the banana! you should work in the chaos (pronounced chinesely) long ago! when there were plenty of eunuchs! hahaha! my computer's almost as screwed up as my hair!

2004-07-30T22:39:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i can't remember much about what happened today! um.. the ball kept falling into the bushes, and everyone kept poking each other's butts, so that they'd drop in too! oh ya! in order to keep the best for last (purple), we ate all the awful colors first! and we had a whole nestful of snakes! after that, my dad came and ATE ALL OUR HARD-EARNED PURPLES! in case you dunno what i'm talking about, it's gummy snakes. hahaha! this is gonna be pretty short, because you can die from radiation! when your computer starts emitting smoke (till the whole house gets all fogged up), and there seem to be flames leaping around the monitor.. RUN!

left saizhu nostril + right saizhu nostril = saizhu nose!!! ga!

2004-07-28T09:20:00.000+08:00

ok! this is my version of the conversation last night:
I'm s'posed to be this crazy ah-ma, ah-soh, auntie woman, who has TEN children! i dunno how i er.. managed to conceive so many!? but anyway! i'm some kiasu parker, who insists that the whole family should bathe in the public toilet everyday, so as to save money for the water bill! practice the 3Rs from young you know! i'll probably be wearing floral pattern pasamalamy clothes! you know that kind! made out of rough scratchy material! and i'll be holding big red pails! and i'll hold those big long shower brushes and use them to whack all the childrens' butts,asking them to hurry up! something like, kuai ah kuai ah! and because i'm s'posed to be kiasu, i'll debate about the price of the soap, and complain to my husband, as we bought the more expensive sliver. which probably is more expensive by about, 10 cents? then i'll warn jiaen and tell her which brand to get! hahaha! my husband'll probably be fat, and wear those types of holey singlets! the kids'll all be real skinny, and wear holey singlets! then they'll have short short short hair! that look like durians!when my husband comes home i'll PAOCHA for him! but in order to save money, i won't buy tea leaves, i'll pluck the leaves from plants! but with my er.. good scientific knowledge, i might pluck oleander or dumbcane leaves or something! and if i don't have condiments like soy sauce, salt, or sugar, i'd probably ask some kid to go over to the neighbour's house and borrow some! (watch out future neighbour!) yeah.. that's about all i can remember! if i suddenly recall stuff, i'll figure out how to add it in!

BUT. all the above mentioned is IMPOSSIBLE. (ignore the adidas slogan for now). because-

1. I'm not that lowly educated! (unless my brain suddenly disintegrates of something.. but i might speak with ah mah chinese next time! ^-^ )

2. I'm not that kiasu. a little maybe! but not that much.

3. I don't think i'll marry a husband like that. or i won't get married at all

4. I won't be able to have ten children.

Conclusion- it's impossible! hahahaha!

.

2004-07-27T14:30:00.000+08:00

my nose is dying, and my mom somehow or another hasn't realized that i had quit third lang at the starting of this year. i ate an octopus tentacle that day! hahahah! it's chewy! and hard to swallow! and you can feel vein like stuff moving around! and because it's so tangly, you feel that a hairball's playing around in your mouth!

walking at the beaches looking at the pEACHES.

um..hi (it's fun not to put punctuation at this thing up here!)

2004-07-27T14:27:00.000+08:00

ya, hi. i'm in computer lab1 in the computer lab.

youth day

2004-07-19T16:34:00.000+08:00

we went to orchard with our weirdly dyed hair! actually only mine was weird! everyone else's was nice! anyway! veron and huizhen changed into FBTs and boardshorts, because they didn't want people to think we were crazy! and when veron was doing an "i love you" enactment, suddenly someone's voice popped outta nowhere, and said "i love you too"! we were shocked! then suddenly gwen popped out! hahaha! and after that went to flash&splash, and they changed my back with this other person's bag! he looked down at his bag, and we hurried up and returned it! my brother's gonna fail his NAPFA! hahahahahahahaha! he almost fainted after running 200+ metres, and it isn't that sunny! i should have got some old woman nearby (hopefully an indian!!!) to give him CPR! oh ya! and if you're wondering why i'm suddenly talking about youth day stuff.. i dunno either! haha! :j and i got 2 questions right during tuition yesterday! aha aha! er.. but huizhen and jiaen were much more pro..!

Bula yoghurt. it tastes like yoghurt. =D* <- he's laughing so hard he didn't realize there was a 5 legged spider hanging from his lips!!!!

BORS!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-07-17T23:05:00.000+08:00

he's nice! he's almost as great as that guy who used his axe to hack the ice! today.. we went bowling! i'll give you an accurate recount, but first. you've gotta take these points into account! 1. Veron (my super good, pro, and encouraging bowling partner) was sick! 2. If that isn't bad enough, her jeans were dropping! 3. And she said she has muscle ache (er..ya!)! see, it's understandable why we lost! anyway! we were at the long john silvers at lido, and we heard some boy said "i'll take some chips." hahahahahahaha! it isn't funny.. i know. and on the way to shaw, we were crossing the road, and there were these bunch of pinky people on a truck! they screamed something real loud, which jiaen said was "hello otto"! i heard 'em say "hi you all people"! we thought the sound came from the cab. OH YA! yesterday i had to walk barefooted to school! because jiaen is an awesome brisk walker, who walks really fast! i couldn't catch up, so in the end i had to take off my shoes! she's the qinshihuang salad eater! i eat caeser salad! that's a lie..! vegetables = ugly green stuff! and my bottle took a banging ride down the overhead bridge stairs! haha! it has an extra dent now..! when we were in the cinema toilet we had canon flushing! i flushed right after jiaen did! hey! maybe i did it on purpose! ^-^ who would!? and i passed the responsibility test! jiaen said that i had to keep the tickets, as i needed to train up my responsibility, and in the end.. i didn't lose 'em! ha! the next time we support gwen when she bowls,. we ought to bring powder for her! and her opponents! we'll get them powder containers, but fill the containers up with oil or something! hahaha! Is it possible to fracture your eyelids? (besides the fact that they can get whacked by a spiked skipping rope.)

we should all watch bollywood!

2004-07-16T23:00:00.000+08:00

hahaha! maybe we should marry indians too! siao, no! the dance night was successful. ya! but i was kinda jacked! my eyes are going bad! oh ya! and jiaen said a mosquito bit her scalp! after school we went to my house, and jiaen saw my brother's class picture! the guy who she said was the best became ugly! i'm not saying he wasn't ugly before! reply (to your comment)- i can't remember what happens in the day, so i type about the stuff i think of! i think my brain's full of crap.. dunno where all the grey matter dissolved to! anyway! then we went to jiaen's house. i played super mario there! i had 16 lives, and i was gonna pass that "undersea" level, when we had to go off! at orchard.. we saw DENISE! again! haha! jiaen bought a handbag, and i tried on some cake-looking top, because it looked cooling! and i bought a breadtalk bun! everything was one buck! i kapokked the last floss bun! HA! kiasu..! after that we..talked! yes! jiaen said that a certain someone forged her handwriting, but it should be the other way round, as the stuff was written by him! ^-^ i still think my theory about the handles on the bus are right! so i'll tell it to you again! the s'pore government believes that s'poreans should be fit, so they put those monkey-bar looking handles in the bus! you can exercise while going to places! provided that you're short, and not that heavy! oh!!! and you fell on me in the bus! i was just stamping my feet around! means i didn't fall on you! hahaha! good! bye! <- means good, and goodbye!

never believe your parents when they say they'll be there in 15mins.

this is dedicated to two people, who used to both be assistant monitors!

2004-07-15T21:18:00.000+08:00

Love is in the air (repeated after every line: dadadadadada)

What a perfect pair

He lures her to his lair

They are fair [ drag if you want ]

And they both care

When his head is bare

She gives him hair..

Lyrics by -Chester (this is the girl who wanted this put up! slap him if you want!)

Information.

2004-07-15T21:10:00.000+08:00

cockroaches are scary things. if you ever see their shit on you wall, flick it off! if you see 'em, pluck their feelers and legs off! no la. just smile and wave, then they'll go away! we ought to buy out all of popular's sweets stock! then we won't hv any money, and there'll be a Great Depression! i changed that i am a worm thing! this looks better! oh ya! now for more information! anyway! never think of starfruit when you're hungry! your acid glands on the wall of your stomach'll squeeze out even more acid, and your stomach will hurt! it's true i think! if you're a gastric fan,you can think of lemons! hmm.. did you know a G2 jumps higher than a uniball signo RT 0.5?

-playing with shards of broken dreams.

poof!

2004-07-15T20:50:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna keep posting mad crap till the 2 entries at the bottom are gone! ha! LiTang's pro! she can act exactly like our history teacher! and the way she pushes her glasses onto her head is like..WOH! Hello! if you're seeing this, ADD A COMMENT! my maid just said tanghoon smells like indians! does it? if it does shouldn't it smell quite nice..? j/k! i wanna add some pictures, bt i nd jiaen to receive 'em first, so maybe she could send it to me! hmm..today..i don't think anything happened! OH YA! i got zero marks for the 6 workers variation questn in the math test, but i'm still happy!!! hahahaha! and um.. during recess we ate chicken! teriyaki chicken! the cucumbers were eyebag medicine, but veronica didn't wanna try it! we wrote some kinda complaint letter thing! i shall write one here! one day.. that is. and we had a history test. it was kinda weird, because all the questions were on one small piece of paper, and everyone kinda expected something bigger! and at the bus stop, we were trying to guess what bus the people would take! we were wrong..everytime! ^-^ HAHAHAHAHA! i'm listening to the ghostbusters theme song! "who're you gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!"

NEWS. THE POST OF TEH CENTURY HAS BEEN DELETED.

2004-07-14T18:59:00.000+08:00

due to minor technical errors, WE DELETED IT ACCIDENTALLY! we would never have been able to reblog that wonderful post!!! let's all MOURN.
i am shuai -boy with ugly neck!

lets interview boy with ugly neck!
(proudly done by reporter green bean)
boy with ugly neck: hi. I DROOL CHAINS OF SALIVA. *drools chains of saliva*!

reporter green bean: is that so? would you mind giving us a demonstration!

boy with ugly neck: *xxxxuuuuurrrsssshhhhhhh*

(an enormous gurgle of saliva erupted from atop boy with ugly neck(lets just call him bwun)'s cancerish lips. simultaneously, a stench travelled around the studio and the pungent smell sent the audience fleeing from the scene. however, the brave, heroic, patriotic reporters clothed with ugly white and red tees decided to stay on to film this spectacular sight. ..apparantly, bwun did not detect a change in the scene and continued narrating his history (which isnt much, anyway) in excitement.)

(after interview)reporter green bean: as the room needed effective ventilation as soon as possible, we asked the big bad wolf from the three little pigs' fairytale to blow down the walls as we did not have sufficient funds to hire a bulldozer. all were evacuated safely, except for an old woman who died when her nose rotted. boy with ugly neck was sent for dental treatment at doctor red bean(reporter green bean's brother)'s dental clinic. he is now teethless. THE END. APPLAUD, PEEPXXXX.

i just saw two people wash their faces!

2004-07-14T15:21:00.000+08:00

they looked clean! it was done in the school toilet, with johnson&johnson clean and clear (oil free) foaming facial wash! which removes oil and dirt, and helps prevent blemishes! it's an interesting bottle! it's orange! and the cap's bluish purple! you know what! we can concoct that stuff by ourselves, because the ingredient are stated at the back! :j sorry, i'm bored.

play with the wall when you have nothing to do!

2004-07-13T22:09:00.000+08:00

hi! i know that post was bad! my bad! but i couldn't think of anything else to say! and i decided to include the most um! meaningful stuff! unless you want me to talk abt that crazy ant spirit story! hahaha! i'll tell it to you again! one day, a boy steps on an ant! and another one! and another one! soon, the whole population of ants in the nest DIE! after that, he falls aslp! and all the ants comng knockng at his door! it's their spirits! ^-^ ghostly ant bugs! moral of story- never squish ants, or they'll come haunt you when you're slpng! it's true! all of the above was adapted frm a chinese proverb! rijianbuzuokuixingshi, banyebupaguiqiaomen!
credits-> YOU!

ANYWAY! we still ARE THE GOVERNMENT!

2004-07-13T19:22:00.002+08:00

hello! watch out all you illegal immigrants out there! we'll chop off your noses if we ever find you! noseless!!! hahaha! the above posts were posted by a vigorous opposition party! yes! so ignore 'em if you want to! this is our blog, where we can post anything we want!!!!!!
person a: OFF WITH THEIR HEADS, ME HEARTY!
person b: yes sir aye aye sir!
-me is person AAAAAA!

WE ARE THE GOVERNMENT!!!!

2004-07-13T19:22:00.001+08:00

THIS TAG BOARD IS FOR INSULTING ZACHARY!!!

welcome!!

2004-07-13T19:22:00.000+08:00

hi!!! everyone who hates zachary may post all our comments!!!! we have differnt tag boards for different subjects please tag very often..